Yesterday, I wrote about my failed marriages to two of the most popular and powerful phones on the planet. Today, I will be talking about the perfect boyfriend that I never married. During the end of the ’90s and around early 2000s, the GSM technology was introduced into the Nigerian environment and everyone wanted to go into a relationship with the phones. At the time, I still had to depend on my dad for everything and him giving me the permission to date a phone was out of the question. However, by a stroke of luck, I met with the Nokia 3310 who took a liking to me. We hit it off immediately and I was able to keep the relationship a secret.
We had everything going for us. Boy! Was I convinced that ours was a match made in heaven. I remember the nights he took me out on the snake game dates. We spent hours playing, during which he kept encouraging me to try and beat my last score. I always believed no other guy could make me unfaithful to this wonderful man, but I was in for a shocker. The smartphones took the world by storm, and suddenly, being seen in public with my boyfriend became a total embarrassment to me. In short it was social suicide. I begged and pleaded for the relationship to come to a halt, but he made sure he did everything to fight for what we still had. Despite all his efforts, I eventually succeeded in shoving him into the carton of my heart and went on to date some of these new kids on the block.
But as I sit reminiscing over past events of the last few months and years, I see why dumb phones after the order of the Nokia 3310 still have a place in today’s world. Here are 5 reasons why I think that dumb phones still sell.
In this part of the world where the guys that control power supply decide to take a break for months unending, these dumb babies come in handy, because they don’t require much battery life to make phones calls or send/receive text messages. They outlast their BlackBerry brothers and their Samsung cousins any day, any time.
They are only the only devices that are guaranteed to be found 24 hours after they go missing. I remember once when I dropped my dumb phone in a commercial bus. The conductor asked me to come back and pick my phone. Stealing it was not an option. Who wants such a dumb contraption?
In all the dull, boring meetings, long and windy conversations or family gatherings, the smartphones seem like a horrible distraction and a good way to piss off friends, family and bosses. Such rude and insecure things! Ever interrupting and needing attention! dumb phones, on the other hand, almost never interrupt a conversation, date or family time. Just remember though that to be seen flaunting a dumb phone has the ability to take you a few rungs down the social ladder.
With the entire social media stampede, privacy is a topic that has been shoved out the window. The entire world now sits with me in my classroom, my bedroom and even the restroom. Gosh, it is so annoying. However for those with the hermit tendencies and those who wish to put a halt to the constant intrusion Facebook, Twitter and other social media, a dumb phone is your best bet.
Here is a little secret of mine: I still keep in contact with my old boyfriend, and when my ex-husbands are messing up, guess into whose arms I run!
Have a lovely weekend people. And do pray that I will survive another week of posting constantly. Mentions please… I am still @toperants.