How Apple’s new earrings will change the way you are addressed

A lot has been written about Apple AirPods in the last few days. And rightly so. These new fashion items have been boldly proclaimed by the manufacturer as items that will forever change the way you use headphones. But it looks like the new fancy earrings from Apple will be more instrumental to changing how you are addressed.

In case you somehow missed the news of the century, Apple did not include the good old, simple and practical 3.5 mm audio jack in the iPhone 7 and 7 Plus. Yes; the Jack is gone. Like this:

The Jack’s gone, people. Gone. The new Apple AirPods are wireless. The Jack’s gone.

What You say???!!!

Yes; Apple was like, “Hit the road, Jack! And don’t you come back, come back no more…” Ray Charles would go green with envy to hear the notes and the energy.

Now, those new white earrings from Apple cost $160 a pair. And God help you if you lose or your break your accessories the way someone I know on the Mobility Arena team does. Because, you’d have to cough up another $160 or use an adaptor like this to use a wired headset:

Hell no. That’s some retro stuff from back when I took dad’s stereo and other electronics apart and attempted to put them back together. Oh, wait. This contraption could also be from a future world in which Mad Max exists.

What? Don’t look at me like that. I get it. You won’t be using that strung up excuse for an adaptor. No problem.

Embrace The Apple AirPods… I mean, Earrings

But, who says men can’t wear earrings, after all fashion goes this way and then goes that way. it is 2016 and men are allowed to look like the Persians of old. If you’re black, here’s a very modern look to Tutankhamun AKA Tut, pharaoh of the 18th Egyptian dynasty:

Who has a problem with being addressed like royalty? Just buy your Apple AirPods and rock them in grand style. Retro is good when done properly like this. Make sure you get a tailor or dressmaker who understands ancient Egyptian styles though. Hail Tut!