Gladys Nwachukwu: 3 Lessons I learned from giving

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I once saw a quote that said, “I give, not because I have too much, but because I know exactly what it is to have nothing”. I grew up in a home with just enough to get by. As such, I grew up with a giving heart. I have given so much that my middle name is now ‘Keziah’ – a nickname coined from an Igbo word that means ‘to share’. My friends swear that they are sure that I can share my husband. I gave everything out once, including my school fees. If you are one who enjoys giving, you would understand my predicament. You would understand the joys and pride I get in giving people things. I enjoy doing it so much that I when angry or sad, I often reminiscence on those times when I gave things out. That is my happy place.

But there are serious lessons that I have also learned from a lifestyle of giving. Here are three of them:

Time and Chance Happen To Some

I have come to learn that it is not everyone who begs on the street who does it because they are poverty stricken. sometimes, it just so happened that people find themselves in that condition at that particular time. Don’t look down on them. Until some of those circumstances happen to you, you probably may never understand it. But, yes; life happens.

Some People Will Never Be Satisfied

I have come to realise that even if you give out your heart to someone and drop dead because of it, there are those who will still gripe that what you gave them was a second hand heart! Some people cannot be satisfied or grateful, regardless of how much you help them. Some of them will even insult you. Some givers get hurt and stop doing good at this point.

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Every Giver Must Learn To Say No Sometimes

I had a friend who enjoyed the best of me because she was the closest around. She was a magnet, accumulating as I gave. One day, I had gone out of my way to get her a birthday present, and she threw the gift in my face. She asked me if that was all she would get. ? I was so disappointment that I took a long walk from her and never looked back.

Eventually, I learned to say No. Why? I found that there were people whose sole mission is to take. They never give. They are leeches, feeding off the goodness of givers. Saying No can be a good and appropriate response, depending on the circumstances.

In all, don’t stop giving. Cheerio!

3 thoughts on “Gladys Nwachukwu: 3 Lessons I learned from giving

  • April 4, 2014 at 7:06 am
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    Good write-up.

    Each time I see or read the platitude “Givers never lack”, I just sneer. My cynicism is borne our of cold hard experience.

    When you hear someone say, Givers never lack, I know out this is one of two things..

    …A perpetual Taker trying to browbeat you or emotionally flog you into emptying your purse, or yourself.

    ..a weak soul that believes that load of bull.

    [..Givers never lack
    …The Lord loves a careful giver
    ..Blessed is the hand that giver
    ]

    Such worn_out clichés…like most platitudes..need careful examination. They often sound great, but often mean very little.. on close examination..

    Psychologists would tell you we give primarily because of the feeling we get from the act of giving…not necessarily because we truly believe we are doing any good

    There is a close pal I used to discuss this with. Do all givings attract blessings, or are some givings just a waste of resources or just a result of foolishness, or of a weak personality with low self esteem, desperately seeking for approval from others?

    I think lots of giving are just foolish.

    Giving is good, because helping people in need is great. But being choosy and giving strategically to those who really deserve (and not just NEED help) is important.

    Just giving indiscriminately is foolish and will definitely make you LACK.

    DON’T believe that crap about a giver never lacking. A choosy, wise giver is doing good period. But, NOT lacking or not lacking…as a result of giving is a different kettle of Akamu!

  • April 4, 2014 at 2:45 pm
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    Awesome Piece. There’s joy in giving. Remember, “Give but don’t Take”

    BTW: Glady’s you’re a fine gyal. Let’s connect. 😀 We might start our own foundation.

    @MrMobilty : You gat a pretty woman (I’m referring to the woman in your blog bg image). Keep rocking!

  • April 6, 2014 at 12:19 pm
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    Nice write-up, however I have learned the drawbacks of being over-generous. One must not “cast ones pearls before the swine”, as some have used one’s generousity as a basis for extortion. A rebuff attracts scorn & some annoying platitudes which makes you regret your earlier stance towards giving at-times.

    My mother did warn me, reminding me of those that rejected my generous father in his own time of need. One must be careful and discreet in giving.

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