Glo reminds me of dialup internet and King Sunny Ade

Once upon a time, I could say that Glo internet was fairly reliable. But that time has since passed. I am not even talking about the speed here. We all already know that Glo “High Speed Internet” isn’t high speed in any way. In its better days, I got a little over 1 Mbps at most. What I am talking about now is worse. It is as bad as the user experience with dialup internet over 20 years ago.

If you were born in the late 1980s or later, you probably have no idea how dialup internet works, so let me explain.

With dialup service, your telephone line dials into the network like a normal voice call, except that in this case it transmits data. Once connected, you have internet access. During the connection, the line is on lockdown and you can’t make a phone call till the line is disconnected from the internet. Also, because there is a limited number of active calls possible at any time, when there is congestion, you can’t dial in. It is just the same way that your network tells you, “Your call cannot be completed due to congestion on the network.”

Yes; that is how Glo mobile Internet works now.

Sometimes you have full network bars, but Glo internet won’t connect you for hours. The 3G and H+ icons disappear. If you switch to 2G, you will find that the E icon is on leave too. Sometimes one suspects that Glo internet goes on those foreign trips with Mr. President.

And on some really bad days, Glo 3G is as bad as the 1998 dialup internet that I used on Intercellular. There was a time I wasn’t sure whether the network was going forward or backwards. Now, I am certain. The legendary King Sunny Ade was a prophet. He most likely foresaw Glo internet when he sang “Mo Ti Mo’:

Iwaju loloko e nwa mi lo.
Ehin ko loloko e nwa mi lo.
Emi ti mo.
Mo ti mo, mo ti mo, mo timo.
Ye o, e.
Emi ti mo.

king sunny ade

Enjoy the evergreen track:

re

4 comments

  1. Haba, it is not that bad, it all boils down to location, mine is average here, in fact that is what am using now, Mr mo, like achmed the dead terrorist said “location, location, location”

  2. GLO! Sometimes, it bothers me whether the promoters of Glo don’t bother to check the quality of services they provide before churning out those so-called “bumper packages” or they just don’t give a hoot.

    I laughed heartily when I read somewhere about their new data packages (N3,000 for 6GB,etc). The reason being that just as Mr Mo pointed out, the network’s unreliability and instability is most likely produced by Legendary Beats (if you catch my drift). As a matter of fact, I dare not use Glo Internet service if for example I need to make online payments like using quickteller, etc. Try it and you’ll have yourself to blame.

    Their voice service isn’t any better. Load airtime and you have both loaded airtime as well bonuses, yet your calls just won’t go through.

    Interestingly, I was in Badagry town during the weekend and their data service was quite impressive. But once I returned to my neck of the woods on the mainland, it was back to reality. Back there in Badagry, I made sure I ran down the available data on my smartphone by streaming a particular series on Netflix experiencing little or no buffering. Amazing!

    If you complain, all you’ll get is the usual response for you to provide your number, phone type and location and then the horrible experience continues.

    I have tweeted severally that just in case MTN has some free cash to play with, maybe they should offer to buy Glo and save us from this embarrassment with the green logo.

  3. If this post had appeared two months ago, I’d have shared Yomi’s view without reservation. The thing is , it’s all changed here in Sapele over the past month:the glo service has been as reliable as any of the other 3 has ever been, and I’m planning to have a go at the 9GB plan. Yes, data service(at least in Nigeria), like the weather, is heavily location-dependent, and like the weather, can fluctuate widely within a given location.

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