Many months ago, I was in the company of friends when one of them, a lady, smiled at me sweetly and said, “Yomi, the gentleman.

Good Boys or Bad Boys: What Do Women Want?

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Many months ago, I was in the company of friends when one of them, a lady, smiled at me sweetly and said, “Yomi, the gentleman. So gentle that no woman wants him.” We all laughed. Friends do say the darnedest things, after all. But I knew exactly what she meant.

Last weekend, I was chatting with another friend about books and movies. In the course of our discussion, I mentioned that I am not a huge fan of romance movies and novels. She replied, “Tough guy, uhn?” Of course, I am no tough guy (or I am just living in denial). I replied that I can be an odd mix of many things. Her response included this:

“But you know women hardly like soppy guys. We like tough boys/bad boys kinda characters.”

ladies n bad boys

She was saying exactly what my other friend had said many months back. The words were only different. I really do think that there are two sides to this bad boy thing: ladies who get the bad boys also tend to suffer. The badness comes at a cost. And then, they complain and lament. Which often makes me ask, “What do women want?”

Still, I may be getting the ladies wrong. Right? We often speak different languages, so, let’s do this. Can the ladies here tell us exactly what they mean when they say that they prefer the tough guy / bad boy? If there are any confirmed tough guys and bad boys reading too, please feel free to share in the comments section. Let’s tango!


  1. Truth is. … They don’t even know what they want. …
    They see a bad guy, they complain, they see a good guy, they say he’s not a Man…

    Confused lot most times

  2. From my experience most gals want an average man. Not too bad, not too good. They need a balanced man cause most women have lots of mood swings and need a man that can react to their moods perfectly hence the need for a balanced man. Eg. Opening doors for them shows you are good but being able to tell them not to do certain things with a straight face shows your bad side. Its all about balance.

  3. The human quest for mystery is insatiable.

    It is why gifts are often wrapped up, to tease us, to whet our desire to unravel the unknown..

    A good guy, or girl, is the dependable, predictable type, that rocks no boat.

    (S/)he is not the type to be caught doing something out of character.

    Now, such individuals, while being good and desirable wife / husband materials are seen as insipid and dull as boy/ girl – friend.

    There are men that prefer ‘bad’ girls that have been around town. The allure is the mystery. The unpredictability.

    The irony is that, we all eat our cake and often still want to have it.

    The question is, do you want that ‘bad’ individual or prefer the reliable, solid and dependable spouse / partner?


    What do I want? I already have what I want, my woman # case closed

  4. Mark, spot on. Forte Spy, you need to go back to school- that “women don’t know what they want” thing is as stale as “men want a whore in the bedroom, a chef in the kitchen and a queen at functions”.

    We can’t always have what we want. I can only guess the women looking for bad guys wouldn’t know what to do with one if they had one. Only a fool in this day and age lives under the delusion that she can make a bad guy good.

  5. Nuff said. However, to put it succinctly, being a balanced mix of both is key. It’ll be far-fetched to find a guy who wants a whore or a lady who wants a skirt-chasing, wife-beating, thug. -_-

  6. for the average Bad Guy- this clearly defines what he wants,
    “a whore in the bedroom, a chef in the kitchen and a queen at functions”.
    if the lady can be this to a bad guy(u will keep him for Good)
    for the ladies looking for a gentleman, the problem is they cant keep them for long…. speaking from experince.

  7. As a woman and I am speaking for myself, to me a ‘bad guy’ is a guy who is in charge of everything. He commands respect without necessarily forcing it. Such a man will endear the women folk to him cos the truth is a woman is naturally headstrong and will only love and respect a man who can subdue her without. Subdue doesn’t mean abuse pls.

  8. @Noni…all men want a whore in the bedroom, a chef in the kitchen and a queen at functions” dats true!

  9. @ Strong woman, a bad guy ain’t a guy who can handle is business and takes charge – that’s a responsible man, the kind most women want. There’s a big difference between a responsible man and a bad guy, they’re miles apart. Women will always, ALWAYS be attracted to a strong man. And a man in uniform. The ones that come with shiny buttons…

    Anyway, I digress. I have no idea what these women Mister Mo was dealing with were implying, but I would have to ask them what exactly they meant by a “bad boy”. I can bet you each woman’s interpretation will be different.

  10. They are so confused on what they don’t want that they can’t even make up their minds on what they mean.

    These women # runs

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