Heartbreak of a Dataholic – Part 1

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Hi, My name is Cyril HardChild and I am a dataholic. (Hi Cyril).

Here’s the definition of dataholic from Mo’s Dictionary of Geekspeak:

: a compulsive consumer of internet data

Origin: data + aholic.

In the last few years, I have gotten in bed with all the mobile providers in the country. I am not a mobile slut, but I get out of abusive relationships once the abuse starts. I still have all the SIMs from these companies, but we are just acquaintances these days. Nothing more. I recently broke up with my most recent mobile data company. We had been going steady for about a year. Let me give you the low-down….

Not too long ago, a certain “lemon green and black logoed” data company showed up on the scene. They came in and said all the right things, acted real fly, made it such that you could get their numbers easily. I followed their siren song in Ceddi Plaza and met the nicest Customer Care people ever.

The really nice Care guys helped me pick a customized number, treated me so good I wrote about it on a blog I can’t find again. I told people, companies, friends, Nigerians, Visiting expats about my experience. I arranged an introduction with my sphere of influence. Off-hand, I can count 26 SIM activations in my immediate family because of that single first impression.

It was love at SIM activation. This was the first SIM I put in my phone that came data-enabled, without any magic codes. At that time, I had a BlackBerry 8700 which had never connected to the net. When this Oh-Hate-Oh-Ninjas came in, it jumped on the internet like its pants were on fire.

We didn’t engage in data exchange at first because I wasn’t over my latest breakup. Their free data allowance kept up just the right amount of teasing to keep me interested.

Then they proposed to me with their “DizzyBlez” service at the MMA 2 Airport Lounge in Lagos. All of a sudden I was on Cloud 9. I was Skyping without breaking while downloading movies, series, Comics and Music. The proposal came in 1 Golf Bravo of Data.

All was good. I was on the fast lane. Life couldn’t be any better, right? Right. But you have to wait for the second part of my mini-series to find out the dizzying details. Hang around.


  1. Pun.


    Dataholism, like alcoholism, only get us inebriated and pauperized!

  2. Ah Cyril, i feel you mehn! I have just gotten tired of MTN’s MIFI (it was neither 3 nor g!!) and i am eagerly looking to jump ship…. but to which service now!? they all promise so much yet…..

  3. I like!!!!!
    Don’t worry Cyril, we here at Dataholic Anonymous will stay with u till the end of ur mini-series. You are not alone.
    *Group Hug*

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