How to kiss? There’s an app for that!

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All gentlemen and ladies would love to think that they do know how to kiss. You know, the same way we all think that we are studs and goddesses. Still, if your partner is often not enthusiastic about your smooching escapades, chances are that you don’t know how to kiss. Bite me.

how to kiss

I had given thought to opening a kissing school to teach this sort of thing, but I’m guessing that my name and pictures would soon grace the covers of tabloids and soft sell magazines who delight in blowing things out of proportion. They would have reason to, of course, as my school must incorporate practical kissing sessions. How best to teach but by example? *cough! cough!*

Thankfully, I may not have to endure that hellish nightmare of becoming the object of soft journalism (if that is journalism at all). After all, there is an app for that.

How To Kiss

How To Kiss: The Apps For That

I was going through the Nokia Store on the 808 PureView this morning, when I ran into an app named “How To Kiss“. Speak of the devil.

The How To Kiss app is a guide with pictures so you know you are doing it right. This app features the peck, open mouth kiss, how to french kiss, and a bunch of more fun kisses. You will have to sort out the practical end for yourself, of course, as there’s no app for that.

Just so Android fans don’t come here asking, as I know they will, I did a quick search for the term “How To Kiss” in Google’s Play Store, and came up with nothing less than 300 results! Whoa!! Who would have thought that robots would love to kiss that much? Humanity is in dire straits! Anyway, the results were not all apps. Some were wallpaper and clocks. Yes; clocks! Shaking my head. But the apps and guides are in the majority, and some of those apps offer videos too. Nice.

How To Kiss: Web Classes

I do not have any doubts that similar apps are available on iOS, for all you iLovers, so go find one in the App Store too, if you are living in that neck of the woods. But illustrated kissing lessons are also available on the web at WikiHow, our source for the image used in this article.

Kiss Away

Now, you don’t have to second-guess your next kiss. You can make sure that it will be mind-blowing. Yes; I know that this is Monday morning, but business is business. And kissing is good business. I might still open that school yet.

But before I do, I need to go sit down with this app and find out if my wife has just been polite for the last 18 years. You know… one just never can tell….


  1. I had given thought to opening a kissing school to teach this sort of thing,

    What other kind of things? (## ears perking ##)

    Reading this reminds be of yesteryears` Kids Say The Darnedest Things`

    Well… “Mr Mo certainly Says The Darnedest Things”!

  2. Whoa!! Who would have thought that robots would love to kiss that much?

    lol…. nice. off to get my kissing on

  3. Nerds and introverts have to find a place to learn these things. I’m sure in addition to the apps there are some YouTube videos for real life lessons!

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