Valentine’s Day came early for me this year. I got a bright red Lumia 1520 as a gift. I never liked bright colours, much less red. But, I am getting used to standing out in the crowd with this robust lady here. After all, I am supposed to be a star of some sort; isn’t it? So, I am loving my lady in red. I call her Lumia Red. I mean, how much better could this year’s Valentine’s be?
But good things come with trouble, because everybody loves good things. Olamide – yes; the world famous one – in particular, loves good things. She has been all over me all morning. Yes; literally all over me. She started by asking for my Lumia Red, deploying her wiles against my weak heart. Why else would a charming young lady be winking at an old man as early as 5 am in the morning?
Mo: Stop winking at me! Don’t you know what the Bible says about winking at a man? I am dialling your pastor right away. *Picks up phone; dials….*
Lammy: Oga Mo, don’t bring religiosity to this matter biko… winking is a form of famzing in this case and the bible didnt say anything about famzing na… Oya back to the Lumia matter jare.
Mo: “Back to the matter”? You know that song too? Olamide, you are on a roll this morning.
Lammy: The number you are trying to reach is not available at the moment please try again later…
Then she changed tactics and initiated a “Where is my Lumia” campaign similar to that of the famous “Where is my iPad”one. Have a look:
— WorldFamous Lammy (@lammyng) February 12, 2014
Mo: You buy Lumia from me? Abi you forget am for inside my private jet, abi?
Lammy: Have you forgotten the Lumia you promised me last valentine? Please Please… don’t let us wash our dirty kini in public.
Mo: Last valentine’s? Was it that one we spent together at The Rhine in Paris?
Lammy: No! Have you forgotten we were a Burj Al Arab in Dubai?
Mo: Oh! Now, I recall clearly. Ehen, so what was it you fed me there that made me promise you a Lumia?
Hold on a minute. I just been told that minors read this blog! Too bad, I cannot complete the conversation, because it is very graphic about what went down last Valentine’s in Dubai. If you want the rest of the gist, please ask Olamide. I can’t have the police hanging me on the new Cyber Crime bill.
In the meantime, Olamide, feel free to send the gist to Linda Ikeji, Bella Naija or Stella Dimoko! It’s Hammer time! Sebi, we will meet at Best Western Plus this Valentine’s? Actually, the day after. Yes; come this Saturday, I sure will deal with you there, personally!