I was one of those who jumped on the excitement of StanbicIBTC’s Instant Account based on the recommendation of Mr. Mo. After jumping in and opening an…

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  1. ALAT.. SMH. What a name tho. Reminds me of a Nollywood Yoruba movie named Alert.

    PS: I won’t touch Wema Bank with a long pole.

  2. Sigh. I am not going to do this. Making a simple service like this work smoothly isn’t rocket science. No-one should have to go through these hoops to withdraw money they deposited in an account. For crying out loud, people all over the world open and run accounts with financial services without ever stepping into their physical office once.

    Even here in Nigeria, PiggyBank and CowryWise do it. You put your money in there and withdraw without any issues and without any of these hoops. Everything is done digitally.

    I am disappointed, to be honest. One day, our banks will be ready. Today is not that day.

  3. That one? Abeg shift. Still having issues adding contact details and I keep getting the error message ‘mailing city not entered’. I simply abandoned it there. I can’t come and go and kill myself in the name of digital banking

  4. Tomorrow cars will run on water… Shioor. Apply the NigerDelta option, your money will be given to you ASAP. Fake Digital industry

  5. Hahahaha. Sorry Ma.

    Thank God for sparing my life o. I also almost opened this their sharp sharp online account @ Stanbic IBTC.

    However, my escapade with the strictly online Wema ALAT account opening seems to be yielding fruit. I have a valid activated account number and the ATM card after some serious back and forth online and on phone., It took some major persistence to even get the online documentation done. I soent like three weeks before succeeding..

    I am yet to put a Kobo into it, though.

    Wanted to get an ATM card from SkyE Bank. Applied . You will get it in four working days. The four working days is now up to two working weeks . Nothing…

    Nigerian banks! Sigh!

    I left the bank thereafter, licking my L as I went.

    Licking your L? Biko nu, what’s an L?

  6. That’s the advertising from the moribund BankPHB, long ago.

    I opened an account strictly on the strength of that snazzy advertising line .

    Haven’t been there since opening. No calls, nothing.

    I don’t get what relationship /account / officers get paid for, if they wouldn’t follow up on the account they open.

  7. It’s not rocket science- you should be able to set up the account online, and visit a local branch for verification if necessary. I get the impression the banks just want to get their hands on your money but haven’t put the necessary processes in place.

    This is where a call to the bank’s HQ would come in handy. How can I open an account online, put money in it and the branch will tell me it’s an orphan account?

  8. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha!!!
    That really cracked me up! Shit! This reminds me of what i went through trying to upgrade an FCMB account i opened on the street to a standard savings account last year, i just left the account for good, at least i can’t kill myself for nothing.

    No be only you sabi lament oo, http://www.contechsblog.com/2017/03/must-read-how-to-differentiate-between.html * follow that link to read my lamentation when i buy fake memory card with thought say na original, lols.

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