Passwords and Fidelity – the weird Mobile Correlation

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As a recently heartbroken guy, I have my ears perked for relationship and romantic gist. Since everyone on twitter is a relationship expert, I am always looking for real life incidences to laugh about. I am also a Wikileaks kind of guy, so people should watch what they say around me.

So I go visit Pliris Mobile’s Gbenro to help me out with some things yesterday the 24th. I find him chatting with a Lady who was swearing that her hubby was cheating on her.  He asks her how she knew. Conversation below, as best as I can remember it.

She: HE PASSWORDS HIS PHONE!

Gbenro: Did he just start passwording it?

Her: NO

Gbenro: So there were passwords before you married

Her: YES, but…

Gbenro: (interrupts) has anything else changed?

Her: YES, I DON’T KNOW THE PASSWORD!

Gbenro: I meant, Is he distant? Have his patterns changed? Is he always “tired”?

Her: NO, IF HE CHANGES HIS PASSWORD HE IS CHEATING, THASALL

Gbenro: (exasperated look) But there are benefits to having a strong password, like…

Her: (Interrupts) is your phone Passworded?

Gbenro: No, But I can track and lock them all if lost or stolen.

HER: THAT’S NOT THE POINT; YOUR WIFE CAN READ YOUR MESSAGES?

Gbenro: Yes, but is this about the messages or the passwords?

Her: You don’t Understand.

Gbenro: I think there is A LARGER TRUST.

Her: OK, WHEN HE LEAVES HIS PHONE AT HOME, HE RUNS BACK TO PICK IT

Gbenro: But don’t you do the same?

Her: HIS SPEED IS MORE!

Gbenro: It is a good idea to lock your phone if people around you always play with your phone, like…

Her: AHA! TO PREVENT ME FROM KNOWING

Gbenro: You know there are apps that can just password what he doesn’t want you to see right?

HER: (SAD VOICE) So you believe he is cheating?

Gbenro: How did you hear that in what I said?

HER: I knew you would take his side! YOU PROBABLY ENCOURAGED HIM TO PASSWORD IT

Gbenro: HE HAS ALWAYS PASSWORDED IT! I just think it’s good Security

Her: I didn’t come to fight I wanted you to intervene and advise him.

Gbenro: NO! I don’t see any reason for concern or there is something you are not telling me?

Her: But why would he change his phone Password?

Gbenro: IT IS GOOD SECURITY PRACTICE!!!

Me: Slurp Schweppes loudly and reach across the table for more boiled groundnuts.

Gbenro & HER: (Annoyed looks in my direction).

Gbenro: You know what? I have to do some stuff for Cyril. In the interim, trust your husband until you have proof.

Her: (troublesome gleam in her eye) I HAVE AN IDEA!

Gbenro: What now?

Her: I want to password my own phone.

Gbenro: Why?

Her: It is good security practice.

Me: (My Schweppes finishes before the Groundnuts and now I am thirsty, but I can’t ask for another drink, I think to myself, “All this is not my problem, and I think my problem is bigger than hers…”)

READER COMMENTS

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  1. O Jeezzz…. Hehehehehe…
    I wonder what my own wife will say…. I even … I have Face Recognition and Pattern unlock on all my devices… Planning on even doing the same for my TV and Door and if possible finger print recognition on my wallet…
    Guess their identity hasn’t been stolen before…
    Password jor…
    If she needs to know something… let her ask the husband… abi… ki lo le ni be…
    wo… she has trust issues jor…
    Pls… is there any chance of getting boil groundnuts today if I visit Gbenro?

  2. I was in stitches reviewing the post. Being an editor on Mobility is now with the risk of cardiac failure from too much laughter.

    My smartphone is password protected, and even my wife does not have my password. She once asked me. I said, No. A shared password is a weak one. And we live happily ever after.

  3. My devices are always password-protected.Think of losing your phone, and it has happened like twice already.

  4. well my brother knows my password and i know his, i dont see anything there, my password is 16 characters long his is 18 and its just two of us so i dont see anything there. Once again it screams trust issues if you have nothing to hide then it wont be a big deal.

  5. I know both my sister and a brother’s security codes for their phone, as well as that of a friend’s (Significant Other doesn’t do passcodes). I tend to only passcode my phone when I’m out and about.

    People and their insecurities (and disjointed reasoning). Advice to Cyril – pace yourself with the Groundnuts when the Schweppes is getting low.

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