As a recently heartbroken guy, I have my ears perked for relationship and romantic gist. Since everyone on twitter is a relationship expert, I am always looking for real life incidences to laugh about. I am also a Wikileaks kind of guy, so people should watch what they say around me.
So I go visit Pliris Mobile’s Gbenro to help me out with some things yesterday the 24th. I find him chatting with a Lady who was swearing that her hubby was cheating on her. He asks her how she knew. Conversation below, as best as I can remember it.
She: HE PASSWORDS HIS PHONE!
Gbenro: Did he just start passwording it?
Gbenro: So there were passwords before you married
Her: YES, but…
Gbenro: (interrupts) has anything else changed?
Her: YES, I DON’T KNOW THE PASSWORD!
Gbenro: I meant, Is he distant? Have his patterns changed? Is he always “tired”?
Her: NO, IF HE CHANGES HIS PASSWORD HE IS CHEATING, THASALL
Gbenro: (exasperated look) But there are benefits to having a strong password, like…
Her: (Interrupts) is your phone Passworded?
Gbenro: No, But I can track and lock them all if lost or stolen.
HER: THAT’S NOT THE POINT; YOUR WIFE CAN READ YOUR MESSAGES?
Gbenro: Yes, but is this about the messages or the passwords?
Her: You don’t Understand.
Gbenro: I think there is A LARGER TRUST.
Her: OK, WHEN HE LEAVES HIS PHONE AT HOME, HE RUNS BACK TO PICK IT
Gbenro: But don’t you do the same?
Her: HIS SPEED IS MORE!
Gbenro: It is a good idea to lock your phone if people around you always play with your phone, like…
Her: AHA! TO PREVENT ME FROM KNOWING
Gbenro: You know there are apps that can just password what he doesn’t want you to see right?
HER: (SAD VOICE) So you believe he is cheating?
Gbenro: How did you hear that in what I said?
HER: I knew you would take his side! YOU PROBABLY ENCOURAGED HIM TO PASSWORD IT
Gbenro: HE HAS ALWAYS PASSWORDED IT! I just think it’s good Security
Her: I didn’t come to fight I wanted you to intervene and advise him.
Gbenro: NO! I don’t see any reason for concern or there is something you are not telling me?
Her: But why would he change his phone Password?
Gbenro: IT IS GOOD SECURITY PRACTICE!!!
Me: Slurp Schweppes loudly and reach across the table for more boiled groundnuts.
Gbenro & HER: (Annoyed looks in my direction).
Gbenro: You know what? I have to do some stuff for Cyril. In the interim, trust your husband until you have proof.
Her: (troublesome gleam in her eye) I HAVE AN IDEA!
Gbenro: What now?
Her: I want to password my own phone.
Her: It is good security practice.
Me: (My Schweppes finishes before the Groundnuts and now I am thirsty, but I can’t ask for another drink, I think to myself, “All this is not my problem, and I think my problem is bigger than hers…”)