Thu. Jun 20th, 2024

The Boring Phone Lives Up To Its Name

The Boring Phone
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There are not a lot of cell phones that live up to their name. The Boring Phone does. This is a phone designed to bore you to death. I’m serious, and that is not a bad thing. In today’s world of always-connected smartphones with apps running in the backgrounds and incessant notifications, the Boring Phone steps up with none of that.

There are no apps to install, no social media, no notifications popping up or chiming to break the silence, and no large display to get addicted to. The Boring Phone is so well designed that it is totally boring. This is the cell phone to have if you want a digital detox, if you want to get away from the madness of modern digital media.

The aboring Phone is an old-school flip phone

Beer brand, Heineken, teamed up with a streetwear brand, Bodega, and commissioned HMD Global to produce 5,000 units of a phone that offers nothing but the basics. Just telephone calls, text messaging, and games built in. And it was aptly named Boring Phone. Left to me, this would be the Nothing Phone, but someone beat them to that name already, so we will take this equally appropriate name.

Pretty much, this is a cell phone from the early 2000s before smartphones went mainstream. HMD Global has built it on the design of the Nokia 2660 Flip but with a transparent shell that lets you see the green motherboard on the inside. The T9 keyboard is also green. And the default theme of the phone’s user interface is….drumroll…green.

Boring Phone is green on the inside.

Its specs and features include dual SIM 3G/4G mobile network connectivity, a 1.77″ cover screen that gives way to a larger 2.8” QVGA (240 x 320px) main screen when you flip the phone open, a 0.3MP rear camera with LED flash (sorry, no selfie camera here), FM radio, a 3.5mm headphone jack, 128MB internal storage, microSD card slot, and a removable 1,450mAh. Oh, and it also has the popular old-school game of Snake pre-installed, so you have something to while the time away with when waiting for the bus. Yes, the Boring Phone is a retro Nokia phone brought back to life. There is no doubt about it.

I remember typing with T9 on similar alphanumeric keypad back in the early 2000s. Even then, it wasn’t fun, which was why I much preferred phones with a QWERTY keyboard or a touchscreen. In 2024, I doff my hat to anyone who ventures over to the T9 side. But then, isn’t that the whole point of the phone – to keep you from spending time on your cell phone. Right.

Which is what is happening among swathes of youngsters and older citizens in the USA, Canada and son other markets, dropping their smartphones for retro flip phones that allow them to live distraction-free lives. Some actually say that they hate smartphones. I can see their point. Modern smartphones are possessive demons. I shared about some of the old flip phones that I used back in the day.

Also interesting is the fact that it isn’t available for sale. Heineken and Bodega are giving away all 5,000 units away for free. Apparently, digital salvation, is as free as it gets.

At this point, if you are the average techie, your nerd head is grinding in its usual gear and you are wondering what processor and what software powers the Boring Phone. Which means you don’t get it. Nobody cares! At least, nobody that this retro flip phone is targeted at. They just want a phone for making calls and for sending and receiving SMS, among other basic things. This phone isn’t for you.

To be honest, the first time I read the specs, I yawned and closed the page. It is that boring and uninteresting. If you want to stay in the matrix of modern digital life, the Boring Phone is definitely not your cup of tea. And to be honest, it isn’t mine either.

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By Mister Mobility

Founder, MobilityArena. Way back from the days of EPOC, Symbian, Palm, PocketPC/Windows Mobile, BlackBerry/BB10, webOS, Windows Phone, Firefox, Ubuntu Touch, to Android, iOS, and KaiOS operating systems, I have owned a few hundred smartphones and tablets, and counting.

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