Yesterday, I had the singular honour of being the lady Gail’s escort to a launch event of Ayo Sogunro’s book, The Wonderful Life of Senator Boniface and Other Sorry Tales, simply referred to as “Sorry Tales”. On the way to the venue, Bar Enclave (Sigh; I fear that I am becoming a regular), she told me that she wanted to attend incognito. She would prefer not to be introduced as Gail. As a good lad and a sport, I was game. I knew she wasn’t thinking of cat-fishing anyone. One concern I had though was that being with me, it was expected that people who recognise me would ask me to introduce her. So, we looked at a number of options.
Gail cheekily suggested that I introduce her as Mrs. Mo. I gave her a chilled Boxing Day side eye. Incidentally, the very first person who said hello to me at the event immediately asked if she was Mrs. Mo. Nah! She was a friend named Chenatu. Shoot me. That was what we had eventually agreed to after playing with options. She really did have a good time with the anonymity she enjoyed. She almost got away with it completely too.
During introductions at the event, Gail smartly stepped out of the bar just about the time that it would be her turn. Serious matter. And then, it was my turn. We were asked to mention our Twitter handles as part of the introductions. When I said, “I am Yomi, also known on Twitter as Mister Mobility,” I distinctively heard “Oohs” and “Aahs” from all around. Poor folks. They all were surprised to see that I was much uglier in person than in my Twitter display photos. Yes; it is the wonders of Photoshop. Sorry guys, but the photo-shopping shall continue. What’s a guy to do?
So, how did Gail’s cover get blown? It was question time, and being the typical troublemaker that she is, she decided it was apt to ask Ayo Sogunro a question about order and disorder. At that point, I knew the covert op was dead. Ayo stood up to respond to her question and addressed her by name. Plink! You could almost hear a pin drop in the silence. Okay! Okay! Not exactly. I exaggerate a bit. But, heads turned and necks craned as several people took a hard, second look at the lady seated next to me. And to be honest, the lady Gail was looking particularly resplendent. I imagine that one sentence played through many minds, “So, this is she!” (don’t ask me what about, for I do not know).
I still wonder at how I kept a straight face through the whole thing. I just carried on like I was not a part of the plot. Yes; I used to work for the FBI in a former life. I’m good like that. Meanwhile, someone mistook me for Akin Akintayo at the event, same way a handful of others have said that I resemble Kwami Adadevoh. Actually, one person says she keeps mixing the three of us up. Shall we form a triumvirate – and rule over…err…what exactly? Perhaps we could try a modern version of the Three Musketeers (though there was four of them) instead?
Anyway, the event ended, and the odd couple of Mo and Gail left as they had come. For all the driving that I did, for all the playing along with Gail’s covert operation, and for all the charm that I brought to her evening, all I got was some suya and a cold side hug. No; not even a full, warm hug or an invitation to dinner at her apartment! Stingy she is, the lady Gail. What a sorry tale.